Stumbled.......

So I have obviously taken stumbled on this journey that I started with such a passion just a 2 short weeks ago. I have joined a group on FB that is doing Made To Crave and will attend the first chat session tonight in about 30 minutes. I am also thinking it may be high time to go back to Weight Watchers.

I know this is a stronghold for me - a pit that I am in. It is seriously affecting my mood and my motivation. I have to get out of this pit and I know I can't do it alone. I didn't realize what a truly stronghold this was for me. Apparently I thought that this I decided to include God in it this time it would be easier, but I should have known - at at some level I did know, that it would be harder. Satan is coming at me full bore and I have learned today that not only do I need to do my Bible studies, but I have to use my mouth. God doesn't say to think the mountain to move, he says to SPEAK.

This is going to be a struggle for me and I do believe that I can do this through Christ and his strength. I won't give up, I refuse too!

Accountability

Well, I already missed a day - July 4. I was waiting on the computer to do whatever it was it felt the need to do. I got to spend the day with a wonderful friend and her family.

So as for accountability - Lysa says I need to have it. I think I do too. I had Doritos, cake AND cupcake yesterday. Really, like one wasn't enough???? Thinking the cupcake really wasn't necessary and then today I had a salad at 3:30 and then made a cheeseburger and corn on the cob. Probably really wasn't necessary as I am pretty sure I wasn't hungry. Then, about 7:45 I decided that some wings would be good so I made 4. Now, on the plus side (besides the + on the weight factor) I had 8 in the bag and only made 4. Would likely make the other 4 if I weren't typing right now, so this is definitely a good thing for me.

This is so not what I was planning on writing about today, but since the past 2 days have talked about accountability and I don't really have an accountability partner I thought this the next best thing.

Praying for strength that those 4 wings stay in the freezer and I can make decent choices at Buffalo Wild Wings tomorrow.

Thanks for keeping me accountable!!!

Desperation to Determination

Great visual to start the video off toda - Lysa showed a bucket with 3 holes. The bottom home was medium sized, the middle one was smaller, and the top was the largest - now which to do you fix first??

Without a solid foundation on which to build we are likely to fail. Several verses come to mind and they are from Luke. Luke 6:48-49:

"He is like a man building a house who dug down deep and ladi the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like the man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it was collapsed and its dustruction was complete".

So it is with this journey. If I do not repair the foudation - my Want to, when temptation comes I am going to collapse. When I am so tired and/or so hungry my resolve is going to give way, I am going to be desperate for something to give me energy and that is going to lead to defeat. When I have the right want to, I can be determined, I will want success so I will plan for it. I will have quick, healthy options in the apartment - I won't have to run through the drive thru to get something, I can grab a yogurt, piece of cheese and an egg or apple and have a great healthy mini-meal.

I am no longer desperate to loose weight for the vainity reasons, if a guy is not going to like me because of my outward appearance (or not give me a chance) then do I truly want to be with him? Though I must be very cautious on this front as I am very guilty of this myself. This can lead to a whole other blog topic.

I am desperate in the sense that I want to serve God, I want him to use me to further His kingdom. Because of that, I am turning that desperation into determination and using His strength to be successful. After all, I am a Jesus girl. I am Chosen, Blessed, Adopted, Accepted, Redeemed, and Forgiven: I'm believing God!!!! I cannot take credit for this - got from the Beth Moore Bible study Believing God.

I am absolutely LOVING how the Bible studies I am doing are fitting in so perfectly with Made To Crave. I know that none of that is a coincidence - it is GOD!!!

Mission Impossible

Today I got to chose a movie title for how I thought creating a food plan was going to be. I was given a list of title to from which to choose: Psycho, Leap of Faith, Mission Impossible, Life Is Beautiful, High Noon, Do the Right Thing, Les Miserables, Saving Grace, A Time to Kill, and Independence Day. Some of these I hadn't heard of so that reduced my selection immediately, but based upon my past I have chosen Mission Impossible.

I have tried and can be successful in the short run, but not the long. What I feel is the most important flag I can take from this is that I have not completely changed my thought process. I know that this is a journey and I am not going to wake up one morning and Wha-La!! be changed, but I do feel like I am making progress. I realize that it is Mission Impossible as long as I try to go it alone.

The verses that have been speaking the loudest to be are from Isaiah. Isaiah 43:18-19 says to

"forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

This verse is definitely going to help me remove the "im" from impossible and make it possible because it is not possible with me -I'm not able, but He is.

I saw this happen today - I was at Olive Garden for lunch and didn't even have a bread stick. Now I have done this in the past, but it was very difficult. This time I loved it, I didn't want one, and I know that was God because I am a carb junkie. I even chose the healthy soup - Minnestrone - in place of the salad as the salad dressing they use is less than healthy. I also chose just a plain pasta with a tomato based sauce - and it was good. I chose from their items with the olive branch by them - which indicated low fat.

All that being see, I truly believe I have my Want to and as I am working on taking me out of impossible (I'm), I truly believe I am going to be successful and I thank God and give him the glory for my success.

Wishing plans

Wishes and plans, can they co-exitst? Can I wish I had a plan that was going to give me the success I want to experience with this journey? Can I plan to keep wishing that it will happen? I think the previous is probably the path I have been journeying down for quite some time now. I have been wishing it away, my spoiled self was going to wake up one morning and God was going to magically make the pounds go away over night.

So today in Chapter 3 Lysa talks about making/finding a food plan that works for you. I think there in lies the key - it has to work for you. It has to be something I am willing to embrace for the rest of my life. With that being said, I am going to have to venture from what I learned to be called red light foods at WW. Red light foods are foods that you just can't have or they will start a binge.

I can't imagine my life without ever having ice cream, reese peanutbutter cup, bread, chocolate - though have found a great way to have this with my coffee, wings, or any of those other "off limits" foods that people who are "dieting" can't have. This is where I agree with WW, it can't be a diet, it has to be a lifestyle. I believe that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and this is what I believe - with my whole heart. I don't think I have a physical addiction (such as alcoholism or drug addiction), I think I use food to pacify myself and once I get to the root of my issues I believe God will give me what I need.

My food plan is everything in moderation, with an emphasis on the "outside of the grocery store" and less on the pre-packaged and processed foods. I want to want the fruits and veggies. I have a much easier time with fruits than the veggies. I also need to up my protein intake. The one food I cannot give up in the summer is corn on the cob, so a complete elimination of carbs is pretty much out of the question.

So what am I going to do??? My current plan is to continue building my climbing wall to my Want to so that I can get to a healthy and sustainable weight and take care of the my Holy Spirit's temple and continue walking with God.